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have you ever told yourself that you're not allowed to be around someone because it would make things complicated? well, it seemed like lev never understood that or more like he didn't care to. the man was hooked. it was scary to say the least. when you're still in love with someone you've been with for quite some time, you don't know how to control it. for lev, it had to be complicated since his ex was working around you every damn day. who knew? it wasn't easy, but somehow he made it work. it was fun since he would joke with her and they could still be friends, but how long would that last? he knows that he shouldn't even try to relive what they had, but the man couldn't help the way he felt about her. they could keep it professional, but he really didn't know if it was possible for him whenever he saw other guys talking to her or trying to flirt with her. it was annoying, irritating and whatever word he could think of. he really wished that things didn't end between them, but he was at least happy that it didn't make it awkward for them at work. okay, maybe that was a white lie, but he could believe that it was true.
lev stood at the copier, waiting for his papers. he tapped his fingers against the machine before a familiar scent hit his nostrils. he knew she was near. he could feel her presence. if you know someone long enough, it tends to happen. and it did for him. a small smile tugged at his lips before looking up. he caught a glimpse of her, the smile showing. "morning," he muttered softly, glad that no one was around but them.
mornings were sacred for priya. despite the extra twenty minutes lost from her bed at home, she always made it a point to show up to the office early so she enjoy its solitude before the rush came in. by being early, there were no lines for the coffee and the idle chatter that would fill her workday would be gone. working for a magazine, there seemed tob e no end to the incessant buzz in her ears so the moments that she had to herself in the morning were glorious and best of all, she could head home earlier than most, clocking out as soon as her required time was set and done. she came into the dimly lit office, just barely cleaned by the morning janitors before everyone's arrival, and she made her way to her desk. their editor had left her some things to copy for the next few articles in the magazine. not wanting to waste any more time she quickly printed the pages and left for the copier, humming without any specific tune in mind.
it came as a surprise to priya when she found that she wasn't the only one early in the office. before she turned the corner, she could early hear the churning and whirring of the machine, her curiosity causing her humming to stop. upon seeing who it was however, she felt a familiar flip flop in her stomach yet a strange calm as she drew near. "hey you," she murmured, suddenly shy as she waited behind him. suddenly the quiet of the office seemed to bear down on her. being with lev was...a peculiar experience, to say the least. having to work with someone that you loved at some point was definitely reason to leave her job but they were both invested in the work that they were doing that it didn't matter so much that they were still there. of course, being in such close proximity to lev led her mind to a lot of questioning if breaking up was even the right thing to do at the time. didn't help she still found him extremely attractive despite the weight of their relationship baggage behind them. "no one else is usually this early, what brings you here?"
lev just wanted to do his job and just go back to his desk, but he knew it wasn’t going to be possible. he hoped he could have a conversation with her and not dealing with feelings he had to push deep down without having to deal with. it was easier that way. he wanted to act like he forgot about her. he didn’t want to know how to respond with working with her on a daily basis. he saw how other men reacted to her, talked to her. he would’ve done the same as well because—well, look at her. the woman was flawless. he felt a pang of jealous whenever she would smile at another man. call it childish but he couldn’t help the way she made him feel. maybe, he should start looking for another job.
he glanced over at her, giving a small smile. “i wanted an early start on everything,” he replied. “what about you?” he need she was an early raiser and he was the complete opposite, but he knew he was going to have his hands tied if he didn’t jump onto the chaos that was his desk.
to say that things were odd around them was an understatement. being in such close proximity to lev on a daily basis did nothing for her emotional state. she decided to break up with him, after all. she was the one who took the leap of faith to end things because she wasn't in the right state to be with him and lev was a great – no, an amazing guy. at the time, she didn't think shedeserved him when her life was such a mess and he seemed to be stretching himself to thin for her. but now seeing him all the time made her wonder if ending things was the right choice. he still made her heart leap when he so much as smiled in her direction and while conversations were kept to a strict minimum, she couldn't help but initiate small talk sometimes, this event not withstanding.
"you know me, i'm never late," she giggled. the banality of the conversations they shared now were excruciating when he had seen the best and worst of her. their dumb little conversations, their fights, he had seen sides of her rarely visible to anything else and now they were reduced to awkward water cooler conversation. it was agonizing. "but seeing you here is a surprise, a nice one," she murmured, the last bit coming out softly as she moved closer to the copier to reach for a sheet of paper. her fingers inadvertently brushed against his for the briefest of seconds and she felt the slight jump in between them, the undeniable spark that continued to persist.
but of course, this was nothing but her projections and the manifestations of regret toward a decision she'd made a month ago. shyly, she looked at him nervously shifting her weight from one foot to another. "so babe, how've you been?"...dammit "lev...sorry, i meant...lev."
there was a lot that he wanted to say to her. a lot. he just didn’t know where the hell to begin. lev could say so much until he was blue in the face, but it wouldn’t be a damn thing to her or that’s how he thought. he wanted to be able to have an actual conversation with her without wanting to relive old memories. that was the past. it was always going to be the past. he didn’t think they would ever have a damn future. it was a nice thought though. he could keep living that over and over in his mind and just end up disappointed.
“really?” he questioned. he didn’t want to seem like he was surprised himself, but he was. it was a nice surprise to see him. she saw him every day and they spoke almost every day. he didn’t want to think into so much. it wasn’t anything. she just like seeing his face. that was it. what the fuck was going on in his head? he really knew how to be his own fucking debbie downer.
he looked away from the copier as he heard her slip up. he smirked, shaking his head. “it’s fine, but i’m fine,” he smiled, glancing at her. “good. you?”