EVERYTHING'S ON FIRE // *, rob / liv </3

[ROSLYN ZYDRATE!]

Don’t leave me here alone But all that’s dead and gone and passed tonight Just close your eyes The sun is going down You’ll be alright No one can hurt you now Come morning light You and I’ll be safe and sound Don’t you dare look out your window darling Everything’s on fire The war outside our door keeps raging on Hold onto this lullaby Even when the music’s gone

slamming his cellphone down on the table, caspian pushed himself off of his couch, and grabbed his keys. a bubble of frustration rose up in his chest as he moved about his flat quickly, slipping into a pair of shoes and grabbing a grey jacket, before heading down the stairs of his apartment complex, to where his car was parked. a simple text message, but it was enough to drive him up the wall. he had told him to be careful! hell, he told robert daily to be careful, because cas knew better than most that the world was hardly a safe place. surely, it was difficult for rob to fully understand, but when you had lived as long as caspian had by that point, you just knew things, things that rob, for example, seemed to take with a grain of salt. the drive over to the hospital was hardly pleasant for him, as his mind was spinning completely, wondering what on earth had happened to rob. his mind went to the worst possibility, but he knew that it wasn't really possible – as he wouldn't have been able to text him if he was dead. once his car was parked, caspian nearly sprinted inside, heading to the front desk. “i'm here to see robert bennet.” he said simply, his ice blue eyes boring holes into the secretary's head. he noticed her flinch, before she told him the room number and he turned, stalking off towards where robert's room was. without knocking, he headed inside, his eyes immediately falling on the form of his best friend on the bed. he didn't look too worse for wear, which really was a good thing considering the possibilities that had run through his mind earlier. “what did you do?” he questioned, his voice dry as he moved further into the room, the anger suddenly bubbling up in his chest as he inched closer to the man in front of him. he had told him to be careful – why couldn't rob every listen to him?

[WEEP LITTLE LION LIV]

This wasn't something he would do on a regular day, since if this would be a regular day he this boy would most likely be curled up on his couch and watching crap television, but this was not a regular day for any matters. Except that this days events might repeat themselves not just once in the near future, since things were becoming more and more complicated right now as he laid there in the hospital bed. These thoughts were too hard for him to focus on and the many machines that weren;t even working seemed too interesting. Robert wondered if they could fall and crush him before he even got checked out, since the room seemed to sway a bit each time he moved his head. He couldn't quite grasp why they were moving. Chicago wasn't the place to get earthquakes, but with the weird shit that was happening lately, he wouldn't be even a bit surprised. But it might as well be Jesus saying that this hospital has done a bad job, so he just decided to shake them up. It was hard waiting for Caspian to come here and rescue him from the swaying-hospital since everything got blurrier by the time he blinked and his thoughts were too hard to filter. Rob wondered helplessly if they had dance halls in hospitals. He had never been to one, so he wouldn't know. Maybe he should have brought over one of those big boom boxes and he could start a dance party of his own? But he hadn't intended coming here, so he couldn't just carry a boombox everywhere he went, but he made a note in his head to come back here and make the biggest party ever to be held at a hospital. Maybe he could even put on a dress code and... That's when Caspian practically flied trough the door looking compleately pissed. His question came to the boy as a surprise, since he had thought about many things but that. "I um..." he scratched his head trying to remember why he even was here but everything just seemed like a blur. "This one gay-i mean guy- smashed me in the head with a chair for no reason?" he finally managed to remember something, still confused as to why the guy would even do such a thing. "Hey, Caspian, you wouldn't happen to have a boombox with you?"he suddenly asked, remembering about his thoughts from before. Caspian seemed like a guys to have a boombox with him - no wait, he didn't. But maybe he had one in his car that he could bring up, so that Rob could have that dance party.

[ROSLYN ZYDRATE!]

Don’t leave me here alone But all that’s dead and gone and passed tonight Just close your eyes The sun is going down You’ll be alright No one can hurt you now Come morning light You and I’ll be safe and sound Don’t you dare look out your window darling Everything’s on fire The war outside our door keeps raging on Hold onto this lullaby Even when the music’s gone

staring at the man in front of him, caspian couldn’t quite help the irritation bubbling up in his chest. how far gone was he? when he had mentioned he was going to get drunk, he hadn’t mentioned taking some crazy pills (opium, back in the day!) as well. but maybe that was on his agenda for the night, it wasn’t as though he knew every little bit of information about him and what was going through his head, as much as he would like to. “a chair.” he stated, his tone completely dry as his eyes never left his best friend. he didn’t really understand him at the best of times and this really was one of those times. “did you do something to, oh, provoke him?” he questioned, his accent thick as it always became when he was frustrated or angry. reaching up, he tugged his fingers through the still perfectly styled hair on his head, letting his eyes fall shut for a few moments. he really didn’t understand why rob couldn’t just stay safe, it made everything so much more difficult, as he wondered when he would lose him. there wasn’t really an if about it, unless he would agree to be turned. “no, i do not.” he stated, his tone slightly annoyed as he moved forward, finally making contact with his best friend as he pushed some of the dark curly hair off of his forehead. “why can’t you just listen?” he questioned, his tone taking on a more gentle tone now as he stared down at rob’s, their gazes connecting, and he let out a slightly frustrated sound before moving away from him once more, heading to the window. as he watched the lights of chicago moving below them, he kept his gaze away from rob. “you have to be more careful, what if you had been hit even harder than you were?” of course, it was a possibility. but then again, cas never really stopped to think that he might actually be okay and be able to take care of himself. he was just a human after all, and to him, that didn’t really seem to be a plausible option.

[WEEP LITTLE LION LIV]

It was so hard lying there in the hospital bed, since Rob felt like he could run the new york marathon and still be up for doing some crazy shit. But the doctor had told him to rest, because he had to put some stitches in his head. "Yeah, like a wooden chair," he squirted his face at the memories and ran a hand trough his hair to the place where the stitched had been put. Alright, maybe he couldn't run the marathon since everything seemed to blur even at this slight motion, but he still had enough energy to burn a house down. The boy eased back in the bed, taking in a deep breath. "I did not.." he stated a bit too loud and he was sure Caspian could hear him even if he barely let out any sound at all, but he didn't seem to have any control of what he was doing "say anything that was not true." He finished the sentence more quietly, adding a guilty smile at the end. Rob knew Caspian was mad at him, since he had promised to stay safe just a few hours ago. But it wasn't his fault things were so messed up and he just wanted to forget it all. At least a hole in his head moved his thoughts elsewhere. Though they seemed to come back now, with Caspian being so close to him and brushing away his curls. He looked deep into his eyes, hoping that the slight motion would change everything but it didn't. "But I can listen." The words flew past his mouth even before he thought about what was he about to say. That definitely wasn't the right answer, so he couldn't help but pout as Cas moved away from him. He watched his best friend stare out of the window, every inch of his body wishing he would come back and just lie with him here. "But I wasn't," Robert said quickly, so the boy -or should he say vampire- would come back to his side. "You know, my dad made me take karate as a kid, I can take care of myself."

[ROSLYN ZYDRATE!]

Don’t leave me here alone But all that’s dead and gone and passed tonight Just close your eyes The sun is going down You’ll be alright No one can hurt you now Come morning light You and I’ll be safe and sound Don’t you dare look out your window darling Everything’s on fire The war outside our door keeps raging on Hold onto this lullaby Even when the music’s gone

to be quite honest, caspian didn’t understand how humans got themselves into so much trouble. maybe it was because he hadn’t been one in so long, and he couldn’t quite understand or grasp onto basic human concepts anymore. but whatever it was, he wished that robert could have been the exception for it! “i heard you, yes, i’m just having a bit of trouble comprehending how you possibly got yourself into a spot to actually be hit in the head by one.” cas stated, pursing his lips as he stared at his best friend, completely unable to wrap his mind around this. a chair, it seemed to be completely ridiculous, to be quite honest! and maybe, from what he could tell, rob had a bit of a knock to the head, so perhaps he couldn’t even remember it correctly. there really was no way to tell. moving a bit closer, a sickeningly sweet scent hit his senses, and he glanced to the top of rob’s head, seeing a spot that would undoubtedly need stitches. groaning softly, caspian took a step backwards, away from robert, suddenly worried about getting too close. “what did you say.” his words were dry, and he stared at the man in front of him, wondering how he had gotten into such deep shit. words were meaningless in the long run, they faded and fell, but humans took them so seriously. “no, clearly, you cannot.” he stated, his tone sharp as he stared out the window for a moment, before snapping the shades closed and whirling around on his heel, taking a step closer to where robert was lying, tentatively. he had to wonder how much it would take to get it through robert’s head that it was hardly a safe existence that he was living. “this time, you weren’t.” he said slowly, narrowing his eyes at him. “this time you weren’t hurt, but next time? next time, you could be hurt, you could be killed if you’re not careful.” his voice held a warning tone as he kept his gaze on rob, unsure of what was going through the other’s mind in that moment. “yes, because you clearly took care of yourself this time.” he stated, shaking his head and nodding to the gash on his head, not really sure what part of that was exactly ‘taking care of himself’.

[WEEP LITTLE LION LIV]

Robert really didn't know what to do, since lying on this bed was nothing but painful, even if Cas was standing right in front of him and keeping him company. This white room was getting extremely boring, so the boy just chewed his lip and listened to his best friend talk. "That dude was like totally wasted and ugh...I don't know," Rob hiccuped because he really had no idea why the guy had gotten so angry, but judging by the look of his face (or what Robert could remember of it) he really was way too drunk to be in public. This wasn't the first time he got himself into trouble like this, but he had never been hit in the head by a chair in the head also. Usually it was like a punch in the face or something easy like that, because this guy got a bit too talkative when he got drunk, which often led him to trouble. "I swear I didn't say anything wrong, Cas!" he suddenly screamed out loud, not sure why. It was just like God himself had wanted it. Wait, no. That couldn't be true. Rob didn't even believe in God. He massaged his temples with his right hand, hoping that his thoughts would become clearer. It didn't work. "Fine, this time was an exception. Every rule has an exception. At least they said that on TV..." the boy mumbled over his words, not really sure of what he wanted to say. He then put his attention on Cas, who seemed to be too stressed out by this. "Okay, mom, I'll keep out of trouble." he blurted out before he realizes this might not be appropriate since his best friend was acting all feely about this. Hell, he didn't even know if he was talking about the chair incident anymore. "Sorry, look, can we not talk about it today? I don't..." Robert suddenly stopped, not knowing what to say next. "follow." He finally decided on a word and sunk back in his bed.

[ROSLYN ZYDRATE!]

Don’t leave me here alone But all that’s dead and gone and passed tonight Just close your eyes The sun is going down You’ll be alright No one can hurt you now Come morning light You and I’ll be safe and sound Don’t you dare look out your window darling Everything’s on fire The war outside our door keeps raging on Hold onto this lullaby Even when the music’s gone

there really was no doubt of his slight frustration in that moment. all he wanted was for rob to be safe, for him to take care of himself, so caspian didn’t have to chase him down – or worse, identify a body. that really was just something that would be the death of him (if that kind of shit was even possible). “wasted, right, like you are right now.” caspian pointed out, waving a hand at him for a moment. clearly, cas was completely unamused with this whole situation. yes, robert had told him earlier that he was going to get drunk, but he didn’t think he’d quite take it to this extreme! he wasn’t exactly sure how to handle him like this, especially when there was blood, and really, caspian had to be a master to have so much self control, considering that he was ‘young’ in vampire terms. “don’t yell, it’s far too loud,” caspian groaned slightly, pressing a hand against his forehead. the truth was that rob could whisper and he would hear him perfectly, there truly was no need to be yelling in such a small, enclosed room. and of course, the hospital people may think he was hurting him or something! biting down on his lip, he shifted a bit on his feet, taking a miniscule step closer. “this rule should not have an exception.” he stated, letting out a sigh and shaking his head a bit. he truly believed that if he had to suffer through watching robert get hurt, his best friend should at least try, if only a little! “i am not your mother,” caspian said dryly, shaking his head. “i simply wish you would be careful with your body. it won’t last forever at this point.” of course, his biggest fear was losing rob, and that wasn’t something that he kept a secret whatsoever. robert knew exactly how cas felt about such things, and they had gotten into many an argument about it. “fine, what would you like to discuss, the weather, what you had for dinner today?” he questioned, his tone clearly dry and sarcastic, as he was floundering in that moment.

[WEEP LITTLE LION LIV]

Sometimes Robert laid in bed and wondered why life couldn't be simple. Why couldn't people get what they want, do what they wanted to, lived where their heart belonged and be together with who they loved. The world would be such an easier place to live in, people would be happy, wouldn't they? But one night it dawned on him; people wouldn't be happy. They wanted what they couldn't have - too much, too far away, too good. That's why he wanted Caspian so much. He was far more and far better than anything Robert would ever be. Maybe that's why he loved him so much. Or that was what he had figured out before he got flat-out drunk. But he wouldn't tell that to him. "I'm not drunk, just a liiiiitle bit tipsy," Rob said, scratching his neck. For some reason he didn't want for Cas to know what state his mind is, although it probably wasn't hard to tell just by looking at him. Still, the boy felt the need to tell him otherwise. "I'm sorry," he apologized for yelling, a small smile tugging on his lips, because he didn't know what to do. It was really taking all his strength not to say something stupid around Caspian, since he already seemed annoyed with him. He clasped his hounds on the side of his bed and tried to clear his thoughts. "Nothing lasts forever," he said matter-of-factly. His voice was low and it almost came out sounding like a whisper. That was what he's most afraid of. That he would let Cas turn him, give everything to him and bam. They'd lose all their feelings and the boy would have nothing left. "Don't be so grumpy, come here, " Rob said and patted his bead, motioning for Cas to sit next to him. note; sorry this took so long S:

[ROSLYN ZYDRATE!]

Don’t leave me here alone But all that’s dead and gone and passed tonight Just close your eyes The sun is going down You’ll be alright No one can hurt you now Come morning light You and I’ll be safe and sound Don’t you dare look out your window darling Everything’s on fire The war outside our door keeps raging on Hold onto this lullaby Even when the music’s gone

being there with robert, it wasn’t something that caspian wanted to do. not because he didn’t want to take care of him, but because he hated the fact that he had to do such a thing because of the circumstances. unless someone was in his position, he was sure they wouldn’t fully grasp the reasoning he had behind the entire situation, but truly, robert getting hurt held a lot of horrible possibilities. “i don’t fully believe you.” caspian said, letting out a soft sigh as he watched rob, the hardened expression on his features falling slightly, to something holding quite a bit more of compassion. it wasn’t that he was heartless (soulless, perhaps, but that wasn’t the same conversation!), but he just didn’t really trust many humans or exactly like them, but robert – he adored him. in fact, love was on the cards, but he wasn’t allowing himself to feel in such a way, not yet. he couldn’t. cocking his head as he heard rob’s words, he wasn’t exactly sure why he was bringing that up. “yes, some things do,” caspian replied, his tone serious as he stared at the man across from him. it was then that he heard his request, and cas worried his lip with his teeth for a moment, before he finally nodded, crossing forward and sitting tentatively on the bed next to robert. the scent of his blood quickly overwhelmed him and caspian let his eyes fall shut, leveling out his senses for a moment before he opened his eyes and turned back to robert. “before this all,” he said, waving a hand around to gesture to his head. “did you have a good time tonight?” he could remember, earlier, when rob told him that he was going to go out, he wasn’t so keen on the idea and now, he knew why. but he figured, if rob had a good time before he got hurt, it would make up for it, at least a little bit, maybe.

[WEEP LITTLE LION LIV]

The boy couldn't help but frown, because Caspian seemed to be very upset with him. He had a reason to, but it still was his life and (even though he gave a promise to stay safe) he could do what he wanted to. But that seemed extremely selfish. Sometimes Robert hated himself for not just being a bitch and not giving a flying fuck about the others. It just wasn't him. And although Caspian was being also extremely selfish with this you-must-be-turned-if-you-want-to-be-with-me thing, he really cared about his best friend and the guy his heart belonged to. "Why not?" he whined. Sometimes Robert hated how smart Caspian was. Hell, it was usually, not sometimes. But he had lived for long enough to know what the world is like and from time to time Rob thinks he should listen to him, but then his stubbornness hits in and he realizes it's just not so fucking simple. "How do you know? Nobody has lived a forever..." the boy drifted away, fantasying about what a forever even is. He didn't know. It was a long time, that's sure. But he couldn't grasp the fact of forever because everything is supposed to end at one point or another - life, love, everything...He watched Caspian get closer to him and he could not help but to feel the weird feeling in his stomach (as well as the fog that seemed to have moved in him brain and settled down for a lifetime) but he just brushed it away in his head, focusing on the beautiful boy's (or should he say vampires?) face. He felt taken aback by this question, since Caspian seemed to be something of angry, frustrated, disappointed and sad a second ago. Or maybe there was something of all of it. "Uhm, yes, I guess." Robert said weakly and smiled to himself because he just fucking rhymed without even wanting to. He should really have taken up a rapper career when he was younger. Was it too late now? The boy shook his head quickly, remembering what he wanted to do earlier. "Can I ask you something?" it was probably a bad idea.

[ROSLYN ZYDRATE!]

Don’t leave me here alone But all that’s dead and gone and passed tonight Just close your eyes The sun is going down You’ll be alright No one can hurt you now Come morning light You and I’ll be safe and sound Don’t you dare look out your window darling Everything’s on fire The war outside our door keeps raging on Hold onto this lullaby Even when the music’s gone

the feelings that he had for robert, they had developed nearly instantaneously. of course, he had kept them under wraps for a good bit, because of the fact that he didn’t want to scare his best friend away – but from the moment that they actually became introduced to each other, he felt a bit of a pull to him, and he couldn’t place a finger on why that was for a long time. all he knew, really, was that he wanted – nearly needed – to have him for his own. it wasn’t that simple though, of course, nothing was ever that simple. a whole slew of new problems came with it all, and caspian wasn’t really sure how to deal with them most of the time, not anymore. “because you’re easy to read when you have had this much to drink,” caspian pointed out, a raise to his eyebrow accompanying his statement, as he stared at the man in front of him on the hospital bed. even then, the scent of his blood was reaching out to him – and it made him recall that he wasn’t just robert’s best friend, he was never quite that, he was a vampire – a monster – and he was sure that it was hardly fair on rob. but he had his boundaries, and cas was quite steadfast, and completely unwilling to cross them. “some people nearly have,” he stated, down-casting his eyes for a moment. “i would assume that i will, eventually.” he stated, his austrian accent a bit clipped as he glanced around the room with a bit of a bored expression, unsure of what to make of it. it had been so long since he had been in an american hospital, he knew the war hospitals of the western front all too well during the war, but of course, that was so long in the past now. “hm?” he questioned, reaching out and pushing some of robert’s hair back from his forehead in a completely tender gesture. “yes, of course.” caspian’s voice was soft as he kept his grey-blue eyes on the man in front of him, wondering just what it was that he wanted to know.

[WEEP LITTLE LION LIV]

Robert often wondered why this flawless man even put up with him. He could probably have or be friends with anyone in the whole world, yet he choose to hang around with little ol' Rob. If he was in Caspian shoes, he would probably be in Hollywood showing off as much of that beautiful face as possible and laughing with Oprah, while eating Lady Godiva. Yet he appreciated Cas for being here with him, because, honestly, he wouldn't know what would he do without his best friend. Robert caught himself frowning at his answer, not really knowing if it's a bad or a good thing. Whatever, he'll worry about that later, when his brain could fully function on his own and was not affected by the alcohol in his blood. On the second though, he probably will end up with having to rethink and worry about too much. "But no one knows what to expect in the future, i mean..." Robert sighed, not really knowing what he meant. Words just seemed flow out before he could even grasp what he was about to say. But the boy had a feeling he should just tell Caspian everything he feels (which, again, was probably coming from the levels of alcohol in his body) and how bad he wants him. Would that makes things worse? Robert didn't seem to care. Now. "I mean, how do you know what's coming in the future? Things may change without even knowing." he blurted out. Did he make sense? Probably not, but then again nothing seemed to now. Except them being together. Yup, that made perfect sense. Sadly, not everything that makes sense can happen. He felt himself relax into Caspian's touch and exhaled slowly. "Why don't you love me?" he heart himself whisper. Fuck, he didn't mean to say that. But now was too late.

[ROSLYN ZYDRATE!]

Don’t leave me here alone But all that’s dead and gone and passed tonight Just close your eyes The sun is going down You’ll be alright No one can hurt you now Come morning light You and I’ll be safe and sound Don’t you dare look out your window darling Everything’s on fire The war outside our door keeps raging on Hold onto this lullaby Even when the music’s gone

once the topic of forever was brought into the conversation, caspian could feel a bit of a heavy weight settle in his chest. he wasn’t sure what it was, beyond the fact that they had discussed the only future that cas would agree to, earlier that day. it hadn’t gone over well, robert wasn’t really all that keen on the idea, and while caspian really sort of hated that he was giving him an ultimatum of sorts, he knew it was what he had to do. the idea of losing robert, it was too much – and he knew that he couldn’t do it. “no, the future isn’t something we – or anyone – can predict, but sometimes the risk is worth it.” he said softly, keeping his eyes on the man in front of him as he spoke. he could feel the anger that he felt before draining out of him, thankfully, and what was left in the wake was the all-too familiar feeling of love that he had for robert. it wasn’t fair – really, that their options were so few. he was already in love with robert, and allowing himself anymore while the option of losing him was still there (because even if he didn’t die in the next few years, he would eventually as a human), it wasn’t something that he could do. “things could change, but some things – some will always stay the same.” caspian stated, speaking to a hint of his love for robert – something that wasn’t likely to fade anytime soon. once he was next to him, the urge to reach out and touch him, give rob a bit of comfort, it was something that couldn’t be denied. however, his words caught cas completely offguard. “what?” he questioned, before shifting so he was facing him even more. “robert – i don’t know what gave you that idea, but i can assure you that it’s not true, i love you more than anything.” and it was true – the fact was that robert was basically all that he had.