the mess we made, elise/sarah

[PETRA <3]

i've been housing on this doubt and insecurity.

it was alex first day of teaching as a TA at college, and he had been nervous as hell before appearing in front of the students and give his talk. he had thought about the things that could've gone wrong, and yet, the one thing that happened hadn't been on his list. he saw his girlfriend, elise, sitting in the room. she was probably just as shocked as he was when he walked in front of the class but at least she didn't had to hide the sudden shock in front of a classroom full of people. nevertheless, he had survived the past hour without showing too much emotion about the fact that he was dating his pupil, until now. after the class had been dismissed alex had walked over to his desk to figure out what he was supposed to do. he couldn't date his students, or could he? no, that was against the rules and he sure as hell wasn't going to let this opportunity slip through his fingers because of a girl. or was he? he couldn't figure it out. even if they only had been together for a month she seemed to be the love of his life. that's what he thought at least. but him being her TA just made it all so complicated. how didn't they even know that she was going to be his student? in frustration he laid his head in his arms, which were on his desk, and stared into the dark. what was he supposed to do? however, before he could figure out his question he heard a voice and looked up into elise's eyes, wondering how she felt about this whole situation. "oh... hi." he said awkwardly, not sure how to act in a situation like this at all.

i've been locked inside that house, all the while you hold the key

[sarah ~]

know you've been hurt

by someone else. i can tell by the way you carry yourself. if you'll let me, here's where i'll do. i'll take care of you.

the day had started off so well. it was elise's first day returning to classes and she had been so ready for anything that came her way. well...anything except the guy she was dating showing up as her TA. it wasn't like they'd really gotten around to talking about all that kind of stuff. yes he was older, but she just assumed he was taking his dear sweet time graduating as a lot of people did. as soon as he stepped foot in the classroom and began talking, her heart dropped. they were going to have to break up weren't they? after all, he could get fired and she could get flunked out of the class if anyone revealed that they were together. the risks were too high to take chances with! her mind screamed all of those reasons and more, but seemed to be failing to get her heart on board. could she really just forget about him like that? elise took her time packing up her things and making an exaggerated show of telling her friends to go on without her. as soon as the room cleared out and the two were alone, she walked down to his desk nervously and waved. "fancy seeing you here," she glanced out the door, trying to act normal. "this means we have to break up right? i mean isn't there some rule about students and teachers dating?" she asked sadly. there was no way she could ask him to risk his career for her. after all, it wasn't like their relationship had started off so normally anyhow. she hitched her backpack higher on her shoulders and gestured to the door awkwardly. "i'll just...uh...go before this gets any worse..." she said and turned away from him slowly, almost praying that he would stop her.

© CHUCK

[PETRA <3]

i've been housing on this doubt and insecurity.

alex had never been the kind of guy who ever got in any kind of trouble. he was the decent, sweet kind of male and he knew how to win the respect of a female. however, it had never even occurred to him that he could be flirting with one of his future students. oh how he wished that had been the case. that would've been so much better than actually dating one of your students. he wondered if anyone had seen them together. they had been dating for a month after all. most of the students in town lived in the neighborhoods and since they hadn't been secretive, because there had been no reason for it, he wondered if anybody had recognized him. "there is, yes. i could get fired if anybody finds out." there was no point in keeping the truth from her. he could indeed get fired. all his hard work would've been for nothing, and he probably wouldn't get a job as a TA anywhere else if they found out the reason for him getting fired. "no! wait!" he told her, standing up from his chair and waiting for her to turn back to face him. "don't go yet." he said. they obviously needed to talk about this. she couldn't just leave and act like this never happened, could she? "maybe... maybe we should think this through for a moment? i'm sure we can figure something out" he didn't want to end things with elise. not now everything was going so great between them.

i've been locked inside that house, all the while you hold the key

[sarah ~]

know you've been hurt

by someone else. i can tell by the way you carry yourself. if you'll let me, here's where i'll do. i'll take care of you.

"well that's it then, isn't it? you can't possibly risk your career alex," elise, ever the realist, knew that there was no way this thing they had could possibly stay a secret. after all, the chances that someone already knew were staggering. after all, her best friend already knew and who knew who she would tell once it came out that alex was her TA. if they were just hooking up it would be a completely different story, but that wasn't it. she turned back towards him slowly as he called for her to stay and walked back over to stand near him. "i guess it wouldn't hurt to try...i mean it's not like you're going to give me any special preference, right?" she asked, already knowing that he wouldn't have to. there would be nothing more embarrassing than failing a class taught by your boyfriend, so she resolved to do anything possible to keep that from happening. staring at the ground, she bit her bottom lip nervously before voicing what they both had to be thinking. "there's always the uh...obvious choice of just keeping this a secret. it would mean a lot more work and sneaking around," sneaking around sounded dirty. the idea made her feel dirty. it was something people did when they were married or in relationships. they were doing nothing wrong so why should they be forced to hide that they cared about each other? it was the first time she let herself realize that she actually did care about him. she'd be crushed if their relationship had to end just because of a small technicality, like him being her teacher.

© CHUCK

[PETRA <3]

i've been housing on this doubt and insecurity.

in a way, alex was glad that elise understood that he couldn't risk his career for her. it made him realize he had definitely chosen the right girl to date, even if she was a student. she was bright, smart and she seemed to understand how serious this whole situation was. how could he not date a perfect girl like her? he sighed at himself, wishing he wouldn't think like that. even if they tried to sneak behind people's backs, there was always a chance of getting caught. it would be a big risk if they actually continued their relationship. people always found out. there was no way you could hide a secret like that. "if we continue our relationship, i will treat you like any other student of course." he said, flashing a smile at her. there was no way he could give her a higher mark then any of the other students. when the other professors wanted to see her results, it would be a bit odd if he had given her a higher mark then she deserved. "i guess so. there really is no other way, is there?" there was one other thing he could do. quit his job. however, he just got this job and it was a great opportunity for him. he wasn't just going to throw that all away for a girl. even if he really liked her. you never knew how long a relationship would last after all. a job however, you could keep for many years.

i've been locked inside that house, all the while you hold the key

[sarah ~]

know you've been hurt

by someone else. i can tell by the way you carry yourself. if you'll let me, here's where i'll do. i'll take care of you.

now that there was a chance to keep the relationship going, elise was going to cling to it. alex was someone she wasn't ready to let go of, and she didn't see why she should have to. "as long as we're both professional on campus, i don't see why it can't work," she shrugged. all of her tension melted as he smiled at her, like it always did. it only served as a further reminder of why it would kill her to lose him just yet. as he asked the obvious question, elise shook her head slowly. "i don't think so. it's either this or break up honestly..." she answered honestly. him quitting his job or her dropping the class didn't even factor into the situation. she needed the class to graduate and it was his career on the line. the choices weren't looking too spectacular, but elise knew what she had to do. looking around carefully to be sure no one passing by was looking, she leaned forward and kissed him lightly and quickly. "it might not be so bad. i've heard sneaking around can be exciting actually," she said nervously hoping she hadn't crossed any boundaries with the kiss. though she had never done it personally, elise's friends had ranted and raved about how much it improved a relationship when you were forced to keep it a secret. besides, it was only until she finished the course after all. after that, they could come out and just pretend the relationship was new.

© CHUCK

[PETRA <3]

i've been housing on this doubt and insecurity.

alex was happy that she did wanted to continue their relationship, even if they broke the rules. it made him feel like he was worth it, that she really liked him, and that was a nice feeling. "great. it shouldn't be so hard to be professional on campus. i mean, we probably won't see each other a lot anyway." except for the class he was teaching and she attended but he was sure he would be able to control himself in those hours. he would be busy with talking anyway, so that shouldn't be too much trouble. "well, then i'm definitely going with this option. i really don't want to break up." of course it sucked that they couldn't do things most couples did anymore, like going to a restaurant or the cinema, but it would only be for a couple of months. alex was sure they could get through this. if they could get through this, they would be able to handle everything. "hmm, really?" he smirked at her, his smirk only growing wider when she gave him a small kiss. he took her hand in his, leading her closer to the wall to a spot no one was able to see them before pressing his lips on hers again.

i've been locked inside that house, all the while you hold the key

[sarah ~]

know you've been hurt

by someone else. i can tell by the way you carry yourself. if you'll let me, here's what i'll do. i'll take care of you.

"of course! i mean we both had our separate lives on campus before anyway, so it's not that much of a change." elise rarely saw him on campus besides to meet up for lunch, which she was sure they could still somehow manage. why throw away something that had the potential to be great just because of some rules? normally those words would've been enough to scare her away, but elise didn't want to run this time. she wanted to fight for alex and she would if she had to. "just a few months and then everything can go back to normal," she noted wistfully. she nodded and smiled happily at his response. as he took her hand and led her away, she looked at him curiously. "what are you-" she managed to get out before his lips met hers once more. her train of thought ended at that pleasant surprise. dropping her backpack from her shoulder, she wrapped her arms around him, noting that it did really seem hotter now that what they were doing was forbidden. holding him tightly, she kissed him back fiercely as though it would be their last.

© CHUCK

[PETRA <3]

i've been housing on this doubt and insecurity.

alex knew he couldn't see elise on campus anymore, or well, not go and grab lunch with her that was. ta's just didn't do things like that with their students, unless there was something really important to discuss, but he was sure even those discussions didn't happen over lunch. elise and him had to not drag any attention to them, not now they decided to continue their relationship, so it was better to only sneak around in places where they both knew nobody could see them. their places would probably be best, or maybe only his place. you never knew if a friend of elise would hop by her place after all, and it would definitely be hard to explain why her ta teacher was visiting her. "see, it isn't so hard to sneak around." he told her after separating their lips. it still felt good to kiss his girlfriend, even if it was against the rules. it actually made everything more exciting now.

i've been locked inside that house, all the while you hold the key

[sarah ~]

know you've been hurt

by someone else. i can tell by the way you carry yourself. if you'll let me, here's what i'll do. i'll take care of you.

things were going to be hard but elise's doubt was rapidly evaporating. she pouted playfully as his lips left hers before nodding. "it just sucks that we can't have dates anymore...i didn't even get a chance to show you off," she teased him playfully. it really was going to be hard for elise to hide a part of her life from her friends, but she knew she had to. if something happened and they ratted the couple out, it would be disastrous. it just wasn't a chance either of them could take. "i'm going to have to come up with some totally bogus story about how i'm swearing off boys so i can study or else i'm going to get dragged to every party until i get out of my "breakup depression"," elise giggled. her friends would insist on taking her out after she broke the news of her "break up" to them and she didn't want to be anywhere but with him. they had good intentions, but sometimes they didn't know when to quit.

© CHUCK

[PETRA <3]

i've been housing on this doubt and insecurity.

alex couldn't help but laugh when elise said she hadn't even had a chance to show him off. "you'll get your chance when you've finished the course." he said, grinning at her. he liked that she wanted to show him off, at least that meant that he was hot enough for her friends to be seen. alex had always been the kind of guy who hadn't been too sure about his looks. sure, he knew he wasn't ugly, but he couldn't really figure out if people actually thought he was hot either. nevertheless, he was just happy that elise found him pretty enough to date. "well, you can go to parties. as long as you stay away from boys who hit on you." he joked, although he was slightly worried about how elise was going to put up her act. he was sure her friends would drag her along to parties, and she couldn't reject all the guys that were good-looking and were interested in her. sadly for him, that would probably be a lot of guys. elise was an attractive woman after all, with whom every male would want to be with. "and no getting drunk." he said teasingly, although it would probably be better for their secret if they both stayed sober until they could make their relationship public. if only one person would find out about them, their whole lives could be ruined after all.

i've been locked inside that house, all the while you hold the key

[sarah ~]

know you've been hurt

by someone else. i can tell by the way you carry yourself. if you'll let me, here's what i'll do. i'll take care of you.

"if i don't absolutely bomb it and have to retake it," she joked with a grin. there was no way in hell she'd fail this class, even if he wasn't the ta. "just get ready because the day this course ends, every girl on campus is going to know you're mine," she replied confidently. it was hard not to be a little jealous after today's class with the way women ogled and stared at him. the girls who weren't going to be able to pass based on smarts were already planning how to get him into bed, and the thought was nearly driving elise crazy. "i'll have to go out a few times, but as soon as they let me go it's all about me and you." the minute her friends lost track of her, elise would be calling him. she could pretend to have gone off and slept with someone, but she'd never actually do it. "same goes for you! no getting too wild in those private study sessions girls are going to be begging for soon enough. i've already heard some pretty dirty things they're planning to do to you," elise laughed laying her head on his chest.

© CHUCK

[PETRA <3]

i've been housing on this doubt and insecurity.

alex chuckled slightly, shaking his head. "you'll do fine." he promised her, although he was going to give her extra credits if she didn't pass the course. he had to give her and the other students equal chances of finishing the course. "i surely can't wait for that day to come." he laughed, pressing his lips on her one more time. talking to elise had definitely made him more confident about their chances of succeeding in this relationship. they would manage to get passed this. they only had to sneak around for a couple of months after all. after those months they could be together whenever they wanted. kiss in public and be a normal couple again. "you better visit me all the time." he said, grinning. although elise did need to make sure nobody saw her getting to his apartment. he had no idea how to explain to the board why one of his students kept going to his apartment. of course he could say he was tutoring her, but he wasn't sure if they would believe him. they had already made jokes about him after all. because he was so young and good-looking. "they... what?" he frowned, a little worried about what elise had told him. did people really do such things? he had thought it was just in the movies. but he would actually get harassed by students who needed extra credits. he wasn't sure how he was going to handle that. but at least he had time to think now. "i don't even want to know what sick minds those girls have." he said, shaking his head, sighing.

i've been locked inside that house, all the while you hold the key

[sarah ~]

know you've been hurt

by someone else. i can tell by the way you carry yourself. if you'll let me, here's where i'll do. i'll take care of you.

"you'll be hard pressed to get rid of me! every minute i'm not in class or studying will be spent brainstorming ways to sneak over to your apartment. i'm gonna have to be one of those girls that carries around extra clothes 'just in case' in her backpack." his apartment was their only logical choice. it would be their safe haven away from school and people. it would be impossible to keep their secret at her place, but his was far more secluded. the only potential risks there would be his friends and elise hoped he could trust them enough to not spill their secret if they ever did find out. at his astonishment, elise giggled and nodded. "you really don't want to know. some of those girls already have like five step plans to get you into bed with them," she rolled her eyes, praying the idea didn't appeal to him. the only bed she wanted him in besides his own, was hers. "we'll just have to find some way of discouraging them, because some of them aren't even doing it for the grade. apparently the class's new ta is just hot stuff." though she couldn't blame them. after all, she was dating him which meant that she obviously knew the effect he had on women.

© CHUCK

[PETRA <3]

i've been housing on this doubt and insecurity.

"you could do that. or you can just leave some stuff at my place, so you don't have to carry everything in your backpack." he suggested with a shrug. a couple of her clothes in his bedroom wouldn't bother him that much. nobody ever got in his bedroom anyway, so nobody would ever find them. and if they did, it wouldn't really matter anyway. they wouldn't know to who they belonged to anyway. it also seemed smarter to not keep clothes in her backpack all the time, that would probably give a small suspicion. especially if she happened to wear the clothes the next day while she had sneaked out the night before. it just didn't seem all that smart to him. but then again, maybe he was just making up things. they knew about their secret relationship after all. but the people who didn't probably wouldn't find it suspicious that she had clothes in her backpack. nevertheless, he wiped the thoughts out of his mind. it didn't really matter. "well, those girls don't stand a chance against you." he grinned at her, thinking it was weird that girls actually wanted to sleep with him. the fact that he was a ta would probably make him more interesting to them, but that just didn't seem alright to alex. "maybe we should just tell them i'm gay." he said, jokingly. "although then i might get crazy guys after me who want to get in my pants." he said, chuckling slightly. yeah. that was probably not a good idea at all.

i've been locked inside that house, all the while you hold the key