& i am done with my graceless heart, kyle // petra

[CHEAP TRICK.]

kai walked through the halls of cedar ridge high school with a heavy sigh. he had known this whole parenting shit would be hard, but until now he hadn't realized just how difficult it would get. he thought elia was doing alright. she said she was doing alright. how stupid could he have been? he wasn't alright. their parents had been dead for two years now; if he hadn't moved on, how could he have expected elia, still in high school, to have been any different? now, he was at her school, meeting with her teacher for god knows what reason. a quick search of her room had proved at least slightly telling, even if it had made him feel like a complete dick going through her things. he found a bong in her room - which, on it's own wasn't a big deal to him, considering he'd been a fan of marijuana until it impeded on his college education, and he still lit up from time to time, but how did he know that was all she was doing? now, several years too late, he'd understood why his parents were always so hard on him when he made even the slightest slip-up, and now he couldn't fix a damn thing. at least he still had elia... but for how long? he knew how teenagers could be. it wasn't that long ago that he was one, and now he wasn't just her brother; he was her legal guardian.

kai stopped and turned, feeling uncomfortably adult as he spotted the correct room number. taking a heavy gulp, he straightened up his black button-down, picking a piece of lint from one of the purple pinstripes, and knocked twice before slowly opening the door, taking a cautious step inside. "hello? uh, mr. peterson? i'm kai guilfoyle, elia's brother?" he felt a chill of momentary nervousness run through him, eyes awkwardly glued to the floor. despite being out of high school for nearly eight years, a part of him still inherently feared teachers. around his college professors, he was oddly fine, but something about high school teachers put him on edge.

[PETRA <3]

the parents meetings were the worst part of being a teacher. kyle absolutely hated to tell parents how their children were failing his class, how they should pay more attention to their kids and make them do their homework more often in order to understand his subject more clearly. however, nobody ever seemed to listen to him. he was always the one who got the blame. they would tell him that he should just explain things more clearly, that it was his responsibility to make their children go to his class. someone had even told him that he was too young to be a teacher. it was just so damn annoying to hear people glorify the little brats that were called his students. sadly, there was no way he could get out of it, so here he was again, sitting behind his desk looking like a real teacher with his black blazer and white shirt underneath it. first he thought he would go for a suit, but he had never felt comfortable in those, so he just went with the basics. to class, he would usually just wear his jeans and a shirt, and even though he was wearing his usual jeans, he felt like he needed to look a little better for the parents he was going to meet.

kyle was tapping with his pen against his wooden desk as he waited for the last parents to come in. he seriously couldn't wait for this to be over, so he could go home and do whatever he usually did; watch random things on television. a small frown appeared on his face when he saw a young man standing in his door opening. "oh, right. her brother... hi." he said awkwardly, completely forgotten that elia's parents had died and that her brother was her legal guardian now. kyle cleared his throat, trying to get his brain back in track as he let his gaze go over the other male for a moment, looking him from top to bottom, biting his lip slightly as he realized how attractive the other was. "it's very nice to finally meet you." he said, walking up to kai to shake his hand, gesturing over to the table in front of his desk for him to sit while he sat on his desk himself, trying to remember where he wanted to talk about.

[CHEAP TRICK.]

kai looked up as the teacher greeted him, mouth opening to speak. it hung open for a few seconds as he saw the man - younger than he'd expected; the static of the phone had him convinced mr. peterson was probably in his upper thirties, but the man in front of his couldn't be much older than kai. he had also been completely unprepared for how damn attractive he was. everything about him, down to his ridiculously great cheekbones, invited him in - even the pulsing of his throat as he cleared it. chastised himself mentally for a moment, he thought to himself that now was the absolute worst time to be attracted to someone. the man was not only a teacher, but elia's teacher. even if this were a proper time to be flirting - and it very much wasn't - there had to be a law against it. fucking your sister's teacher. or getting fucked by. or- jesus. kai licked his still open lips, then quickly closed them. wait, why was he here again? ...oh, right. elia. "i-i, uh, yeah, man, nice to meet you too." he shook his hand with a tight, firm grip, letting it linger a moment before pulling his hand back and meandering to the chair the man had pointed out.

as he sat down, kai observed his usual anxiety around teachers had gone completely. there was still the general buzz of uncalm from that situation as hand, but the tight knot in his stomach had faded entirely. that never happened, especially not five minutes into meeting them on their own turf - once he had known a woman for three months before finding out she was a chemistry teacher at another school, and the familiar knot was back. he was thoroughly frustrated with himself for finding the man across from him so attractive, but it did seem to have that one positive side effect. he leaned back in the chair, folding his arms over his chest. "so. uh..." shifting in his seat, his gaze wandered nervously around the room. "what's up with my sister?" his cheeks turned pink from embarrassment. not the most eloquent he'd been in his life, really.

[PETRA <3]

it was one thing to talk to parents, but it was a whole other thing to talk to a student’s brother. even though he had made the call himself, he had not expected elia's brother to be this handsome. he hadn't even expected him to almost be the same age as he was, even though it would've made sense. as if that wasn't enough, the male in front of him was hot as hell. seriously. the way he shook his hand, with that tight grip, made kyle bite his lip for a moment. if that wasn't enough, he was totally kyle's type as well. he was muscular, the male seemed to obviously work out, and the way the other male had looked at him had made kyle's heart stop for a second. he just seemed the most perfect human being ever created. on top of that, when kai walked to the desk, kyle hadn't been able to keep his eyes from checking the other male out from behind, seeing his perfectly shaped ass. nevertheless, kyle knew he couldn't think like this. he was a professional teacher after all, and flirting with a student's brother was definitely not a good idea.

"right, your sister." he said as he leaned against his desk, trying to collect his thoughts and thinking about what he had wanted to say. "i know your sister has been through a lot, you probably both have, but she's failing my class and she never actually comes to class in the first place. which is probably the main reason why she keeps getting bad marks. and when she does come, well... she doesn't exactly pay attention to what i'm saying." he started. to be honest, kyle had never been a teacher who knew how to talk to people other than his students. especially in a case like elia's. he didn't want kai to think that he didn't understand what his sister was going through, but he did want her marks to improve and to have her actually pay attention to what he was saying in class instead of checking her phone every few seconds and making fun of him. "i just... i would appreciate it if you could make sure she came to class? or make sure she studies for tests and that she does her homework? because i actually happen to know history is not the only class she's failing. i actually think that if her attitude doesn't improve, she might not get through the year." he finished, running a hand through his hair, wondering how kai's reaction was going to be to all of this.

[CHEAP TRICK.]

well, that was definitely a good distraction from how attractive mr. peterson was. elia was failing her classes? not only that, but she wasn't going to them in the first place? besides that, how could she not be listening to the man when she was there? lord knows kai would have difficulty paying attention to anything but those fantastic cheekbones - okay, so maybe he wasn't completely distracted from the man's face. still, he hadn't realized how bad it could possibly have been. his sister claimed everything was perfect, that she was going to class and doing well. she was a smart girl, and everyone knew that. how could she be letting everything fall apart like this? how could she be feeling like she couldn't talk to kai about any of this? it must have been his fault. so angry with his parents for how they'd reacted to his coming out, he'd shut them out for some time, and elia by association. he'd only just started to mend his relationship with his family before their parents died. even then, though, it had been two years now; how long had elia been letting her life slip away without telling him? it was terrifying.

"sh-she…" planting his elbows on the desk, he put his head in his hands, fingers sliding through his hair. "she told me it was all okay. i thought she was fine, i never even thought twice when she didn't show me her midterm report…" taking a deep breath, kai tried his best to hold it together, but that was difficult given the massive blow he'd just received. "i have no idea what i'm doing," he said, mostly to himself, though he looked up to mr. peterson slowly, eyes growing wetter. "i don't know how to be a parent. i can't tell when she's lying, i can't tell when she's not okay. i just take everything she says for granted because she's my sister. fuck if i know how do actually make her do anything - uh, pardon my french." swallowing thickly, he sat up, straightening his shirt and threading fingers through his hair nervously. how embarrassing was this? he was practically breaking down in front of a total stranger, and a rather attractive one at that. "…sorry, uh, mr. peterson. i'm sure you have better stuff to deal with than a grown adult starting to cry in your classroom." laughing nervously, cry wiped his eyes with his shirt sleeve, the scratchy fabric nothing near what he'd normally wear, but he'd meant to try and give the impression that he was at least a little mature. now, kai could only imagine he seemed the furthest from that as possible, his eyes unable to stay dry for long.