( when you feel low ), tag -- petra [zouis]

[HOTEL KALIE-FORNIA]

beats for you, so listen close

jace couldn't believe how stupid he had been. he had put his best friend in danger and there was just nothing he could do about it. on most days, they did all sorts of crazy, stupid shit together and if someone got hurt, it was never a big deal. but this time ... this time, one of them had landed in the hospital.

as the doctors had worked on him, jace had paced the hallway just outside of the door. he had filled out all the necessary paperwork and had even taken the time to call his parents to tell them about what happened. he knew that there was nothing more he could do. so he paced the halls, lounged on the couch - and by lounged, it meant he lay face first on the couch and tapped a little beat onto the tile floor - as he waited for the doctor's go ahead for visiting.

finally, a nurse tapped him on the shoulder and told him that he could go in now. jace had never run so fast in his life, only slowing down when he reached the door. he knocked twice before turning the knob, stepping in slowly. "hey," he said softly, guilt tearing him up inside, as he took the few strides to his best friend's bedside.

[PETRA <3]

it had all happened so fast. the fall, the way to the hospital, how unfamiliar faces had stared at him and told each other things on the way to the ER. connor could barely remember a thing of what had actually happened. all he knew was that he had just come out of surgery and that he was lying in a hospital bed. what was even more frustrating was the fact that nobody would tell him a thing of what was wrong with him. they kept telling him that they wanted to speak to his parents first before they would tell him a thing, which was annoying the hell out of him since he was the one who was lying in a hospital bed without knowing what the hell was going on. connor was hooked on all sorts of equipment. a bandage was wrapped around his head and his arm hurt pretty bad. however, connor didn't care about that. what he was really worried about was the fact that he wasn't able to move his legs or toes. nothing happened when he tried. connor was almost starting to have a panic attack when he heard a knock on the door and a familiar face walked inside the room. the fact that his best friend was here made his worries go away for a moment and a smile appeared on his face. "hey." he replied back, not really sure what to say else. "do you know what's wrong with me?" he asked, biting his lips softly in the hope that they would've told his friend what the hell was going on so he would finally know what was really happening. although he wasn't quite sure if he wanted to know the truth about how bad the accident had been.

[HOTEL KALIE-FORNIA]

beats for you, so listen close

jace had nearly killed himself trying to get to connor when the accident had happened. thankfully, he hadn't and had even managed to call 911. although, there had been a moment of fear when he thought they wouldn't let him go to the hospital in the ambulance. at that moment, jace had had a hysteric breakdown, there couldn't be any other name for it, honestly. he had screamed and shouted and cried until finally, they brought him to the hospital. although, they had also given him some medicines that were meant to calm him down.

it had worked, although jace was pretty sure that was the reason why the police had stepped away as soon as they found out about the drugs. after all, they couldn't take his statement while he was drugged - not to mention his parents hadn't okayed it and jace wasn't even sure if they knew a lawyer to call if necessary. but that didn't change things. that didn't change the fact that jace was waiting for them to let him see his best friend. when connor grinned at him, as if nothing was wrong, jace couldn't help but smile back.

at his question, though, jace could only shake his head. "they won't tell me anything. you've got to have a couple of broken bones, though," he said, running a hand through his hair as he dragged a chair beside the bed and sat down. "i'm sorry, connor, seriously. that was ... it was so stupid," he muttered, running his hands through his hair again. normally, it was well-styled, but at this point, with the number of times that jace had run his hands through it, the whole thing was probably a bigger mess than when jace woke up in the morning.

[PETRA <3]

it wasn't connor's first time in the hospital. he could be found here quite frequently, usually for twisted ankles or bad cuts, but it had never been this bad. however, with the way the two boys had been acting, it was only to be expected. they had never been careful with the things they did. usually, they took risks, and well, sometimes the things they did could go wrong, like today. connor knew the only one he could blame for his stupidity was himself. his mother had warned him a thousand times that he would end up in the hospital if he would continue to be this stupid. apparently, she had been right. nevertheless, connor couldn't really feel any of the pain he was probably be having. they had given him a lot of drugs to rest and recover. "yeah, probably." he said about the broken bones while he watched how jace went to the chair next to his bed. "don't be sorry, jace. it isn't your fault. the only one i can blame is myself. i just shouldn't have done it. sadly i realize that now." he said, shrugging it off a little. he didn't want his friend to feel like it was his fault, because it honestly wasn't. and even if it had been, he would never be mad at his best friend. "let's just never do it again, okay?" he flashed a smile at his friend, not wanting that his friend felt any guilt or pity for him about what had happened. "i actually can't even remember what happened to be honest. it all happened so fast."

[HOTEL KALIE-FORNIA]

beats for you, so listen close

near-death experiences were no new thing for jace and connor. they did all sorts of stupid things all the time. but it had always been the sort of experience that made their hearts race and their adrenaline rush. but they'd never gotten so badly injured that they bled from their head or looked like they had broken a leg. but, unfortunately, that was the case for connor at that moment and jace had worried almost as much - if not more - than connor's own parents had.

he shook his head as connor told him not to apologize. "still, i was supposed to check the equipment and i - i thought they were okay, but apparently they weren't," he muttered, running a hand through his hair. he chuckled weakly at connor's question, nodding. his face grew serious when he brought up the fact that he didn't remember the accident though. "the bungee cord. it went just ... wrong. i don't know; i wanted to go back, but i - i didn't want to leave either. although i heard one of the police officers say it had snapped and that's what happened." jace took a deep breath as he finished explaining, trying not to beat himself up. connor wasn't mad at him, but at the same time, jace couldn't help but criticize himself, try and think of the ways that he could have avoided the accident - namely getting a new bungee cord, rather than 'old faithful', as he had teasingly called it. so much for faith.

[PETRA <3]

"it's not your fault." connor told his friend again, not wanting the other to blame himself for what had happened. especially because connor knew that was exactly what he was doing. he didn't want his friend to feel guilty about something that wasn't his fault in the first place. connor was the only one to blame, in his opinion, and even if it had been jace's fault he would've never admitted it to him. it was just how connor was. whenever something bad happened he would always give himself the blame. it just made him sad if somebody else felt guilty over something, because he knew how upsetting it was to feel that way. nevertheless, when jace explained what had happened he nodded. all connor could remember was falling, and then everything went black. probably when he had hit the surface. "it doesn't really matter what happened anyway. i'm okay, that's all we need to know." he said. somehow, he felt like he needed to comfort jace in away. even now he knew connor was okay he still looked as freaked out as he probably had been when he had seen him fall and he didn't want that for his friend.

[HOTEL KALIE-FORNIA]

beats for you, so listen close

jace was the sort of guy that was hard on himself for any little screw up. it was just how he was; he was a perfectionist. if things didn't go right, he always managed to find some way to blame himself for it. sure, it usually ended with him smacking his head against the wall once or twice, but it was just how it worked. it was also part of the reason as to why he liked his role as an adrenaline junkie; it gave him a chance to step away from all the responsibility about things that he forced himself into. "yeah, you're okay," he murmured, running a hand through his hair again. it was probably a mess and there were, most likely, bags under his eyes, but he didn't care. his best friend was okay and that was really all that mattered, honsetly. jace sighed, leaning forward and resting his chin against his arms, which were crossed on top of connor's covers. "i think we should stay away from bungee cords for a bit, though. maybe stick to sky-diving and white water rafting or something for a while," he said teasingly, a small smirk on his face.